Ever see that "Leprechaun" film? Well, ever see any of the six they made? A little Irish leprechaun fella (played by Warwick Davis - above) kills a fat bloke who stole his pot o' gold. He then embarks on an emphatic, and frankly indiscriminate, killing spree that takes him to Vegas, outer space and, of course, The Hood. Twice.

They're rubbish. But every time St Patricks Day comes around I always recall the movies. In particular there is a murder scene in one where he wishes a victim a 'Happy St Patricks Day' in the most comical and over-the-top Irish accent I've ever heard. It's the sort of accent that has become the streotype for Irish people around the world, yet not one person in the country actually speaks like that. That's not to say that the diminutive actor's accent is not more convincing than Tom Cruise's "Far and Away" shambles.

My point? It's St Patricks Day and while this day last year I was flying back from Chicago after tasting the Irish festival through American eyes, this year I'm in work. Writing this diary up.

Where else could I make observations like "imdb.com promote themsevles as 'Earth's biggest movie database'. Are they concerned that somewhere in the untapped galaxy there is perhaps a bigger movie database that would ridicule any claim they might make to be the 'Universe's biggest movie database'?".

You see? Lateral thinker, I ain't.

So while my website - nearvana.net - will be my place for pics, reviews and football columns, this little corner of diaryland will be where I get all deep and meaningful. It'll be a slow beginning but bear with me.

Now if you don't mind, I've just been buoyed by the news that Hilary Swank is desperate for a baby.

Happy St Leprechaun Day.